( would he rather do this in person? no. no, he wouldn't. there's a reason he's stuck to text, this is hard to cough up, no matter how badly he needs to say it. )
whatever you want, reika. i can meet you somewhere
[ There's that part of wanting to let Peter have his apology, but after what they've been through and what they've talked about, she also has things of her own to say. ]
Thanks. I can be there in a few.
[ They used to pass each other there, after all. Soon she'll set off, dressed in a thin dress over her Fenrir uniform, a golf bag slung over her back. Maybe he's there already? ]
( no, he's not there first. mostly because of how reluctant he is to start the conversation, but no amount of reluctance will keep him from showing up when he promised to. the library is still pin-silent — most students haven't even returned yet. he heads toward her when he spots her; at the very least he doesn't seem extraordinarily late. )
Hey, Reika. ( he catches her eyes only once before they drop back to his shoes. )
[ It's awkward so she'll take the initiative to go into the library somewhere quiet. But he has to talk first, if not she won't really know what to say. ]
And seeing Peter's expression, feeling the aura around him from her days of watching people to see if they would be kind to her, tells her that he would probably not let go of it for a long time. It's familiar, in a way, but she doesn't want to presume too much. Julius is not too like him, after all. ]
Peter... It's okay.
[ Her voice is careful, hesitant, but gentle. ]
I'm just... glad you're safe now.
[ In her world, there were people whose jobs were to track down those who have lost themselves and execute them. ]
( he can't wrap his head around exactly how many people were willing to look away from what had happened. he hadn't wanted it to happen, that was true. It still didn't change that it did. it happened, and it happened because of his own mistakes.
he almost wished more people would be angry. It would match how he felt, toward himself.
Peter deflates at the mention she was glad to see him well. no matter what happened with his thoughts blinded by Bristol, he can't ignore the obvious consideration toward his wellbeing. )
Yeah, I'm all right. Sonia and Sieglinde got me the cure shortly after it was released.
[ There's a longer pause while she debates what to say. Has Peter met others? If he has, then they probably said the same things as she did.
But she has to say it, anyway. ]
You weren't yourself, at that time. You've worked so hard to help everyone with the cure... so I believed that you would never intend to hurt anyone. [ And it's true, given how he's come to apologize. ] I still think you're a good person.
[ And: ]
In my world, there was a similar thing that infected people and turned them into monsters. [ She can't really remember how much she told him, so hopefully this is understandable. ] There was no cure, so once they turned, the only thing we could do was kill them. The fact that you're alive and well with us again -
[ She's not very good with words, especially with strangers, and a topic such close to heart. ]
- I'm sorry, you don't have to apologize to me. Just seeing you okay is enough.
I didn't, but it happened. It doesn't do anyone any good to pretend it didn't. Least of all me.
( his intentions didn't protect anyone, in the end. his mistakes had gotten people hurt, and even if the rest of Audentes was willing to try and convince him that his good intentions made it okay, Peter wasn't capable of agreeing with it. he didn't test himself, he didn't see the infection before it was too late, he didn't allow anyone close enough to help him when he needed it most.
this was his fault, and he was well aware of it. even if nobody else was willing to.
the mention that in her own world, people weren't so lucky to survive their bouts into frenzy, cows him enough that his dark eyes land on the floor again. he can't possibly tell her that he would have rather he died than be allowed to hurt all the people he had, not to someone who was on the other side of it. he's forced into miserable silence instead. )
You're wrong, that I don't have to apologize. I have to do something. ( if only the apologies felt like they actually helped. )
( he's more than happy to change the subject, considering it isn't a particularly fun one and his perspective is not really going to change any time soon. )
[ It really does seem so, so she has to think of what to say. They probably told him what she told him, too... and yet, she can't just cut off the conversation. She wants to do something. Even though they've only talked a few times so far.
( he sighs a sad laugh at that one. he's doing his best to try and sleep more, after the disaster that not sleeping caused before... but insomnia is a hell of a beast, and sleeping without Stiles is proving harder than he'd have ever thought it would be.
it doesn't matter. he'll figure it out.
his brow tucks a little at the question, because it's definitely unexpected. )
Sure. Of course. If you want to know, I can try. ( though he can't really think about it too much right now, it would be a good distraction later. ) Maybe when we get back to Oska. ( with that, he sighs. ) I should probably go now, though, unless you needed something else.
( it's such a simple request, and yet a part of him isn't sure how to respond to it. why is probably not the right thing to stay. he stares at the top of his shoes for another exaggeratedly long moment before he risks her eyes.
Peter can't fathom why, yet it means something that she does. considering he has not shown himself to be much of a friend. )
I will, ( he says, offering a slight nod. ) That's what friends are for, right? ( he's never had many, but even without it he's fairly sure that's how it works. ) Thanks, Reika. I mean it.
[ Her expression is anxious but also hopeful, which changes into full-on gratefulness once he speaks. He actually said that to her... which is encouraging, really. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
never 2 late
Yes, of course. What can I help with?
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nothing, you don't...
no, i meant i needed to talk. to you. you don't owe me anything.
( he is already super nailing this conversation... way to go, Pete. )
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I'm here for you.
Would you like to talk here or in person? I can do either. Whichever's more comfortable.
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whatever you want, reika. i can meet you somewhere
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Is the library okay for you?
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at the university, you mean? yeah, sure.
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Thanks. I can be there in a few.
[ They used to pass each other there, after all. Soon she'll set off, dressed in a thin dress over her Fenrir uniform, a golf bag slung over her back. Maybe he's there already? ]
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Hey, Reika. ( he catches her eyes only once before they drop back to his shoes. )
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Hey... thanks for coming.
[ It's awkward so she'll take the initiative to go into the library somewhere quiet. But he has to talk first, if not she won't really know what to say. ]
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he follows her lead, and doesn't say much until they get there. he forces himself to look her in the eye when he finally finds the voice to speak. )
I'm sorry. For attacking you. For... All of it, really, but especially that.
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And seeing Peter's expression, feeling the aura around him from her days of watching people to see if they would be kind to her, tells her that he would probably not let go of it for a long time. It's familiar, in a way, but she doesn't want to presume too much. Julius is not too like him, after all. ]
Peter... It's okay.
[ Her voice is careful, hesitant, but gentle. ]
I'm just... glad you're safe now.
[ In her world, there were people whose jobs were to track down those who have lost themselves and execute them. ]
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( he can't wrap his head around exactly how many people were willing to look away from what had happened. he hadn't wanted it to happen, that was true. It still didn't change that it did. it happened, and it happened because of his own mistakes.
he almost wished more people would be angry. It would match how he felt, toward himself.
Peter deflates at the mention she was glad to see him well. no matter what happened with his thoughts blinded by Bristol, he can't ignore the obvious consideration toward his wellbeing. )
Yeah, I'm all right. Sonia and Sieglinde got me the cure shortly after it was released.
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But she has to say it, anyway. ]
You weren't yourself, at that time. You've worked so hard to help everyone with the cure... so I believed that you would never intend to hurt anyone. [ And it's true, given how he's come to apologize. ] I still think you're a good person.
[ And: ]
In my world, there was a similar thing that infected people and turned them into monsters. [ She can't really remember how much she told him, so hopefully this is understandable. ] There was no cure, so once they turned, the only thing we could do was kill them. The fact that you're alive and well with us again -
[ She's not very good with words, especially with strangers, and a topic such close to heart. ]
- I'm sorry, you don't have to apologize to me. Just seeing you okay is enough.
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( his intentions didn't protect anyone, in the end. his mistakes had gotten people hurt, and even if the rest of Audentes was willing to try and convince him that his good intentions made it okay, Peter wasn't capable of agreeing with it. he didn't test himself, he didn't see the infection before it was too late, he didn't allow anyone close enough to help him when he needed it most.
this was his fault, and he was well aware of it. even if nobody else was willing to.
the mention that in her own world, people weren't so lucky to survive their bouts into frenzy, cows him enough that his dark eyes land on the floor again. he can't possibly tell her that he would have rather he died than be allowed to hurt all the people he had, not to someone who was on the other side of it. he's forced into miserable silence instead. )
You're wrong, that I don't have to apologize. I have to do something. ( if only the apologies felt like they actually helped. )
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Have you talked to the other people?
[ She's at a loss, so it might be better to talk about what's happening to him instead so she can get a better gauge of what's going on. ]
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( he's more than happy to change the subject, considering it isn't a particularly fun one and his perspective is not really going to change any time soon.
)
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'I'm sure they'll forgive you' sounds pretty tactless, too. ]
Okay. Um... I hope you can get good rest soon.
[ Things are winding down, after all. ]
I know we talked a bit about biology things on the network. If you don't mind... could you teach me sometime, at least? I'd like to learn from you.
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it doesn't matter. he'll figure it out.
his brow tucks a little at the question, because it's definitely unexpected. )
Sure. Of course. If you want to know, I can try. ( though he can't really think about it too much right now, it would be a good distraction later. ) Maybe when we get back to Oska. ( with that, he sighs. ) I should probably go now, though, unless you needed something else.
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Thank you. And... if I can help you with anything, please let me know. I... I would like to be your friend.
[ It's hard to say this when it's in this sort of situation. ]
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Peter can't fathom why, yet it means something that she does. considering he has not shown himself to be much of a friend. )
I will, ( he says, offering a slight nod. ) That's what friends are for, right? ( he's never had many, but even without it he's fairly sure that's how it works. ) Thanks, Reika. I mean it.
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Thank you too. Um... good luck.
[ They should get going. ]
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I'll see you around, Reika. ( he's got a lot of other apologies to make. )