[ There's a longer pause while she debates what to say. Has Peter met others? If he has, then they probably said the same things as she did.
But she has to say it, anyway. ]
You weren't yourself, at that time. You've worked so hard to help everyone with the cure... so I believed that you would never intend to hurt anyone. [ And it's true, given how he's come to apologize. ] I still think you're a good person.
[ And: ]
In my world, there was a similar thing that infected people and turned them into monsters. [ She can't really remember how much she told him, so hopefully this is understandable. ] There was no cure, so once they turned, the only thing we could do was kill them. The fact that you're alive and well with us again -
[ She's not very good with words, especially with strangers, and a topic such close to heart. ]
- I'm sorry, you don't have to apologize to me. Just seeing you okay is enough.
I didn't, but it happened. It doesn't do anyone any good to pretend it didn't. Least of all me.
( his intentions didn't protect anyone, in the end. his mistakes had gotten people hurt, and even if the rest of Audentes was willing to try and convince him that his good intentions made it okay, Peter wasn't capable of agreeing with it. he didn't test himself, he didn't see the infection before it was too late, he didn't allow anyone close enough to help him when he needed it most.
this was his fault, and he was well aware of it. even if nobody else was willing to.
the mention that in her own world, people weren't so lucky to survive their bouts into frenzy, cows him enough that his dark eyes land on the floor again. he can't possibly tell her that he would have rather he died than be allowed to hurt all the people he had, not to someone who was on the other side of it. he's forced into miserable silence instead. )
You're wrong, that I don't have to apologize. I have to do something. ( if only the apologies felt like they actually helped. )
( he's more than happy to change the subject, considering it isn't a particularly fun one and his perspective is not really going to change any time soon. )
[ It really does seem so, so she has to think of what to say. They probably told him what she told him, too... and yet, she can't just cut off the conversation. She wants to do something. Even though they've only talked a few times so far.
( he sighs a sad laugh at that one. he's doing his best to try and sleep more, after the disaster that not sleeping caused before... but insomnia is a hell of a beast, and sleeping without Stiles is proving harder than he'd have ever thought it would be.
it doesn't matter. he'll figure it out.
his brow tucks a little at the question, because it's definitely unexpected. )
Sure. Of course. If you want to know, I can try. ( though he can't really think about it too much right now, it would be a good distraction later. ) Maybe when we get back to Oska. ( with that, he sighs. ) I should probably go now, though, unless you needed something else.
( it's such a simple request, and yet a part of him isn't sure how to respond to it. why is probably not the right thing to stay. he stares at the top of his shoes for another exaggeratedly long moment before he risks her eyes.
Peter can't fathom why, yet it means something that she does. considering he has not shown himself to be much of a friend. )
I will, ( he says, offering a slight nod. ) That's what friends are for, right? ( he's never had many, but even without it he's fairly sure that's how it works. ) Thanks, Reika. I mean it.
[ Her expression is anxious but also hopeful, which changes into full-on gratefulness once he speaks. He actually said that to her... which is encouraging, really. ]
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But she has to say it, anyway. ]
You weren't yourself, at that time. You've worked so hard to help everyone with the cure... so I believed that you would never intend to hurt anyone. [ And it's true, given how he's come to apologize. ] I still think you're a good person.
[ And: ]
In my world, there was a similar thing that infected people and turned them into monsters. [ She can't really remember how much she told him, so hopefully this is understandable. ] There was no cure, so once they turned, the only thing we could do was kill them. The fact that you're alive and well with us again -
[ She's not very good with words, especially with strangers, and a topic such close to heart. ]
- I'm sorry, you don't have to apologize to me. Just seeing you okay is enough.
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( his intentions didn't protect anyone, in the end. his mistakes had gotten people hurt, and even if the rest of Audentes was willing to try and convince him that his good intentions made it okay, Peter wasn't capable of agreeing with it. he didn't test himself, he didn't see the infection before it was too late, he didn't allow anyone close enough to help him when he needed it most.
this was his fault, and he was well aware of it. even if nobody else was willing to.
the mention that in her own world, people weren't so lucky to survive their bouts into frenzy, cows him enough that his dark eyes land on the floor again. he can't possibly tell her that he would have rather he died than be allowed to hurt all the people he had, not to someone who was on the other side of it. he's forced into miserable silence instead. )
You're wrong, that I don't have to apologize. I have to do something. ( if only the apologies felt like they actually helped. )
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Have you talked to the other people?
[ She's at a loss, so it might be better to talk about what's happening to him instead so she can get a better gauge of what's going on. ]
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( he's more than happy to change the subject, considering it isn't a particularly fun one and his perspective is not really going to change any time soon.
)
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'I'm sure they'll forgive you' sounds pretty tactless, too. ]
Okay. Um... I hope you can get good rest soon.
[ Things are winding down, after all. ]
I know we talked a bit about biology things on the network. If you don't mind... could you teach me sometime, at least? I'd like to learn from you.
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it doesn't matter. he'll figure it out.
his brow tucks a little at the question, because it's definitely unexpected. )
Sure. Of course. If you want to know, I can try. ( though he can't really think about it too much right now, it would be a good distraction later. ) Maybe when we get back to Oska. ( with that, he sighs. ) I should probably go now, though, unless you needed something else.
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Thank you. And... if I can help you with anything, please let me know. I... I would like to be your friend.
[ It's hard to say this when it's in this sort of situation. ]
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Peter can't fathom why, yet it means something that she does. considering he has not shown himself to be much of a friend. )
I will, ( he says, offering a slight nod. ) That's what friends are for, right? ( he's never had many, but even without it he's fairly sure that's how it works. ) Thanks, Reika. I mean it.
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Thank you too. Um... good luck.
[ They should get going. ]
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I'll see you around, Reika. ( he's got a lot of other apologies to make. )